Monday, 25 April 2016

The Cow on Set

The government spokesman sat on TV set and I thought to myself, he’s fat. Doesn’t he look like a cow on set? While silly thoughts about the size and outlook of this fat man played ping pong in my mind, the interview progressed and I thought he looked like a cow indeed. His speech was strong and over flowing with confidence but lacking of substance. He argued incoherently while over-zealously contradicting himself. I told myself, “ this cow is chewing his curd on set”
I flipped the channel and ran headlong into the local channel that broadcasts in the local language and on the screen was a large writing…Abebitone basisinkanye Omukulembeze…and I thought, what a funny , pathetic lot they are! Some of them looked like clowns in those silly looking yellow bow ties and waist coats. On their faces, they wore smiles that flashed yellow teeth. “don’t their breaths stink?” I imagined. The event dragged on and the presenter was a wasted, horny-looking piece of junk who carried on his duties without enthusiasm. So I thought he must be an undercover policeman.
Did I say Police man? Yes I mean Police woman. Damn it, I guess they all mean the same thing. I grew up in the foothills of the mountains of the moon and 30% of people I knew were either policemen, army officers or RC 1’s. I had a deep respect for law enforcement officers. I revered them. To me, they were the most respected and important members of our society. Then the ADF rebels attacked the peaceful, solemn town of Kasese and we saw several militias grow up in the name of crime prevention and law enforcement. The little crook Byarugaba Amon who had dropped out of school in P 5 got recruited and the crime rate in Nyakasanga and Railway quarters in Kasese skyrocketed. When tears wastefully plagued the faces of the innocent, hard-working citizens of these villages, Byarugaba binged on Alcohol and the cheap sluts from Kasese Inn as he wasted away his stolen spoils. I was a boy and growing up in the changing times changed my perception of these law enforcers. Today I woke up and my daughter told me she had a nightmare. I held her close to my heart and we sang a song together until she felt better before imploring her to share with me her bad dream. She said she dreamt about our neighbor Mr. Opolot who’s a Police constable. She says, in her dream Opolot intercepted her on her way back from school and tore off all her clothes before hitting her with the butt of his AK 47. She said he did to her what the crazy Police women did to the woman on TV. This tore my heart asunder. I’ve always been so cautious about watching TV with my little one. As a father, my duty is to protect her from any inappropriate TV programming and lord knows I’ve done a good job. It however never crossed my mind that even the 21:00hrs news on TV needed Parental Guidance. So to my horror, my Little girl is traumatized after watching the Law enforcers manhandle and undress a woman on National TV.
Am I growing paranoid? They say Paranoia is contagious and it seems like everyone nowadays is paranoid. My neighbor-he’s the king of those that are paranoid and what beats my understanding is that he’s not running for any political seat and neither does he work for the government or any political party. He’s just the run-of-the-mill guy. But he’s level of Paranoia ranks way above that of President Zuma, Mugabe or even president Barshir of North Sudan. Could it be true that Uganda is now the nursery bed for Paranoia and cynicism? I get this chill each time I see a law enforcement officer but this neighbor of mine has his paranoia scale ringing off the hook each time he….Ok, here's the story. The other day we were out of the houses watching the kids play in the compound when a security guard stumbled into our neighborhood. He was lost and was merely asking for directions. My neighbor yelled for all the kids to run back into the house immediately and bolt the doors lest the guard does some vile act in front of them. Then he turned his attention to the lost guard and you could see the fire in his eyes. Myself and my beautiful fiancĂ©e were shocked. In the long run the guard left but the gloom his uninvited visit brought with him lingered.
When I was growing up, I went to school with kids who shared a metallic hut with their mother and father and an entire family of nine. Ah, by the way we used to call those metallic huts synonymous with the Police barracks uni-pots. Is uni-port an English word? It was a shame. Today, I still know people who still live under similar circumstances. And these are the same people we rely on to have sane judgments and uphold law and order. I know Mr. Oplopt so well since myself and him speak at a unique level and you can know a fool when you talk to one. He’s a good neighbor, a respectable family man and a friend too but he’s not a smart guy. He’s dumb and his wife Akello Mercy will not mince her words about it. But at his Duty post, tens of people rely on him every day to mediate and pass judgment on cases three stories above his maximum level of understanding.
I flip the channel I find this Scare-crow faced presidential aspirant rumbling about being sprayed with a lethal inhalant while in detention at Nagalama and I think, he sounds like a little bitch. Disgusted with him disguising as an angel of the light yet we all know he’s a demon from hell’s gaping abyss. He carries no message for the people of this godforsaken country except for the clichĂ©’ mantra…“we will win not by compliance but by defiance”. I pity him and those that follow and believe him.
After several minutes flipping through the channels, I end up right where I started and the fat cow on set was still chewing the curd. Am afraid of lies ahead of us. Tomorrow is not promised and today is a gamble. All we have is yesterday. The future is blind and the present is dumb. We are bind people being led by old, battered-down, ill-minded pedigree blind fossils of men. Our neighbors see us and they weep because they see us walking towards the cliff and they fear the result. because we are deaf, we don't hear anyone's counsel. We will fall and when we do, no one will be there to help us up. Behold the darkness that we long dreaded is now at hand. Save us lord….For God and My Country.

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